In a 1975 issue of The Seattle Prep Panther, there was a section that simply listed where seniors had been accepted to college, and where they were still waiting to hear back from. It was public, straightforward, and surprisingly honest. Rejection wasn’t hidden. Uncertainty wasn’t embarrassing. It was just part of the process.
That openness and vulnerability feels almost unimaginable today.
College admissions have become increasingly secretive, especially in competitive schools like Prep. Students whisper about where they applied, avoid mentioning early decision schools, and sometimes won’t share anything at all until they’ve committed somewhere. The fear of rejection has become so intense that many of us would rather stay silent than risk being seen as someone who “didn’t get in.”
Part of this shift has to do with how we experience failure. Decades ago, students failed more. Failure was more normalized. Not getting into a college wasn’t a personal flaw; it was just something that happened. Today, that’s no longer the case. Grade inflation has become a huge thing. A’s are common, failing a class is rare, and many students move through high school without ever experiencing a major academic setback. When rejection finally comes, often in the form of a college decision, it can feel shocking and deeply personal.
Ironically, this doesn’t mean we want to fail. Of course we don’t. No one wants bad grades or rejection. But the issue isn’t that Prep, or schools in general, fail us academically. It’s that times have changed. Schools across the country have shifted toward higher grades and more support, which has made failure feel abnormal rather than expected. There has been an enormous grade inflation in the past 50 years.
Prep’s environment plays a role too. It is an extremely competitive environment, which can be great to help us push ourselves but it also makes us compare ourselves so much to others. The idea of “losing” to another Prep student, of being the one who didn’t get into a school while someone else did, can be incredibly hard. So for many they hide it, don’t tell anyone in the hopes of not being seen as ‘stupid’.
At the same time, Prep is also deeply supportive, and that’s a good thing. Teachers, counselors, and administrators constantly remind us that we are capable, impressive, and college-ready. We’re told we’ll do great things and get into great schools. So when we don’t, it’s confusing. Being rejected feels jarring because we haven’t often heard someone say, “No, you’re not good enough for this.”
Social media only amplifies this pressure. Today, where you go to college is public information. Instagram bios announce decisions instantly, not just to classmates but to extended networks of people we barely know. Suddenly, there are more eyes, more judgment, and more comparisons. The question of whether a school is “good enough” doesn’t just come from within, it comes from everyone watching.
All of this has turned college admissions into something private, tense, and isolating. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
The truth is that rejection is normal. Almost all of us (except for a few brilliant minds and some early decision admits) will be rejected at some point in this process. That was true in 1975, and it’s true now. The difference is that back then, students faced it together. It was shared, expected, and survivable.
It’s sad that we’ve become so secretive. We would be better off being honest, with each other and with ourselves, about how hard this process is. Rejection hurts, but it doesn’t define us. If anything, it’s something we can learn to laugh about someday.
College admissions shouldn’t be a source of shame. It’s okay to fail. It was okay in 1975, and it should be okay now
