Choosing a college is one of the first major decisions a young person makes entirely on their own — and the pressure to get it “right” can be overwhelming. Rankings flood the internet, parents offer opinions, and somewhere in the middle of it all, students are expected to make a choice that feels both deeply personal and impossibly high-stakes.
But according to college counselor Sandra Foy, most students are asking the wrong question from the start. Instead of asking “what’s the best school I can get into,” she encourages students to ask something harder and more honest: “What kind of place will actually work for me?”
That shift in thinking, she said, changes everything.
“Try not to lose yourself in all the noise,” Foy said. “Pay attention to what actually feels right to you.”
For Foy, a strong college decision comes down to three layers that have to work together: academic fit, personal fit, and financial fit. Prestige might open doors, but when those three things don’t align, even the most impressive school on paper can feel wrong once you’re actually living it.
The Major Question
One of the first places that tension shows up is in the question of a major. At some point in the process, the conversation shifts from “Where do you want to go?” to something heavier — “What do you want to do with the rest of your life?” And for most 17-year-olds, that question arrives long before they’re ready for it.
“To ask a 17-year-old what they want to do with the rest of their lives is a lot,” Foy said. “Many students still aren’t fully sure of their own identity.”
What makes this especially consequential is how differently colleges handle it. Some schools require students to apply directly into a specific program — engineering, business, computer science — sorting them into a track before they’ve even set foot on campus. Switching paths later isn’t always easy, and the pressure of that early commitment can feel suffocating for someone still exploring. Other schools allow students to enter undecided and discover their interests over time, which can be just as valuable for the right person.
Neither approach is better than the other — but one of them is better for you. That’s the distinction Foy wants students to make. Having a direction, even a loose one, can open doors to internships, research, and more intentional advising. But it requires honest self-reflection first: are you someone who’s ready to commit to a path, or someone who still needs room to explore? Both are completely valid — but they require fundamentally different college environments, and choosing the wrong structure for your personality is a mistake no amount of prestige can fix.
What Campus Tours Don’t Show You
Once a student has a sense of what they’re looking for academically, the next question becomes more personal: will I actually thrive here? And that’s something no ranking can answer — it has to be felt.
Campus visits are designed to impress. Freshly cut grass, polished buildings, smiling students, carefully planned routes — it’s a highlight reel, not a reality check. The real story of a school, Foy said, lives in the unscripted moments between stops on the tour.
“When you’re on a tour, don’t just listen to the guide — watch the campus,” she said. “Look at how students are actually living there.”
She encourages students to notice what can’t be staged. Are students talking to each other between classes, or staring at their phones in silence? Does the campus feel warm and alive, or rushed and disconnected? She also suggests stepping off the official route entirely — walk into the buildings tied to your intended major, talk to faculty or current students if you can, and ask them honest questions: why did you choose this school, and what surprised you after you got here? Those conversations, she said, will tell you more than any brochure ever could.
The Financial Reality
Running alongside all of this is a conversation that families often push to the end of the process — and shouldn’t. Cost is no longer a footnote in the college decision. As tuition continues to climb, the question of what a family can realistically afford shapes not just where a student ends up, but what opportunities they’re able to say yes to once they get there.
Foy is direct: this conversation needs to happen early. A school that looks perfect on paper but leaves a student buried in debt for a decade isn’t the right fit — no matter how good its name looks on a résumé.
Know Yourself
After all the applications, tours, rankings, and conversations that blur together into noise, it can feel like every student is being asked to make one enormous decision that will define everything that follows. Foy pushes back against that idea, too.
No college decision is permanent, and no single school holds the key to a fulfilling life. What matters more than the name on the acceptance letter is whether the place fits who you are right now — and leaves room for who you’re still becoming. That’s a moving target, and it’s supposed to be.
“Think about your people,” Foy said. “And trust that understanding yourself is what will lead you to the right place.”
That’s the through line connecting every piece of her advice — academics, campus culture, finances, and all. Before you can find the right college, you have to know yourself well enough to recognize it. And in a process that constantly pulls students outward for validation, that kind of quiet self-awareness might be the most important thing a student brings to the table.
The right choice isn’t the loudest or most impressive one. It’s the one that still feels like yours when everything else fades out.
